Pages sixty-four, sixty-five, sixty-six and sixty-seven.

Here’s a link to an article about rewriting. I’ll go back to it when I’m finished with the draft.

I’m not sure if the scene below is finished or not. It feels unfinished, but I’m not sure what I should add to it. So I’ll just leave it open in case I think of something in the next day or so.

(Pages 64, 65, 66 & 67)
INT. CAR – NIGHT

Martin is driving his car. In the back seat are Dino and Sherry. Dino
is passed out and Sherry is tending to his face.

Martin looks back in the mirror.

SHERRY
Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?

MARTIN
He’ll be fine. It’s the drug making him sleep.

SHERRY
What did you give him?

MARTIN
Sodium pentothal. The truth serum.

SHERRY
Really? That’s real?

MARTIN
The drug is real. The effects are often questioned. Some don’t think it works and others do.

SHERRY
What do you think?

MARTIN
I think it works on some people and not on others.

SHERRY
Do you think it worked on Dino?

MARTIN
If I didn’t, he’d be dead right now.

Sherry runs her hand over Dino’s face. She lightly slaps him. Dino doesn’t respond.

SHERRY
Do you have any water?

MARTIN
Yeah.

Martin hands her a water bottle.

Sherry pours some water in her hands and splashes it on Dino.

MARTIN
You should let him sleep. He’s not going to feel too good for the next
few days.

Sherry ignores him and pours more water on Dino’s face. This time Dino reacts.

DINO
Mmmmm. Mmmmm. What?

SHERRY
Get up, honey.

DINO
What? What?

SHERRY
Wake up, I want to talk to you.

DINO
I’m up.

SHERRY
Do you love me?

DINO
Of course I love you. Why would you ask me that?

SHERRY
I just needed to know.

Sherry strokes Dino’s face some more. She kisses him.

SHERRY
Do you love your wife?

DINO
Yeah, I love my wife. What’s going on here?

SHERRY
Do you plan on leaving her for me?

DINO
It’s moot. She left me.

SHERRY
If she didn’t leave you, would you have left her for me?

DINO
No. I don’t think I could’ve.

SHERRY
Then why were you with me? Why did you keep telling me you were going to leave her?

DINO
Because I didn’t want you to leave me.

Sherry starts tearing up.

SHERRY
So it was okay for me to be with a man that was never going to leave his wife.

DINO
I don’t know what you want me to say.

SHERRY
The truth, asshole! I just want the truth!

DINO
The truth? The truth is I only need you when I want to fuck. It’s not rocket science. What else do I need you for? I already have a wife.

Sherry turns away.

DINO
What? Now you’re upset? Jesus, that’s why you can’t be honest with anyone. No one wants the truth. What’s the difference? I’m with you now anyways. Isn’t that whats important?

SHERRY
I wish it was. I wish it was.

DINO
What’s that mean?

MARTIN
Hey, Dino?

DINO
What?

MARTIN
Shut up and go back to sleep.

Making it easier.

I wasn’t sure how things were going to go when I began my quest to finish a script within three months, so I didn’t tell anyone about it. I just started posting. Well, forty plus pages in and my friends started getting curious, but they sounded annoyed that they were so far behind. I realized that my blog and widgets weren’t set up to help them, or anyone else for that matter, to follow. Sometimes I forget that not everyone uses RSS feeds like I do (I absolutely love them). So I’ve updated my blog and added widgets to help everyone follow better. Widgets are those things on the side of the post.

I’m enjoying this so much that I’ve already started my next spec script. But one project at a time.

Page sixty-three.

Another problem that I’ve noticed is the language of the characters are always the same. It’s an easy mistake to make — I’m the one writing all the characters so they all sound like me. Perry, especially, needs to be reimagined. I see him like the Benecio Del Toro character in The Usual Suspects or Brad Pitt’s character in Snatch. Both characters I love. I think that small thing will go a long way.

(page 63)
INT. PARTY STORE – NIGHT

Sam is next in line at the party store. A FEMALE CUSTOMER is ahead of him.

The CASHIER #2, 26, is middle eastern.

The Cashier hands change back to the Female Customer.

CASHIER #2
Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice night.

The Cashier #2 looks at Sam. Sam is standing with his eyes closed.

CASHIER #2
Can I help you?

Sam appears to be sleeping.

CASHIER #2
SIR!

Sam opens his eyes.

SAM
Oh yeah, sorry. I need some liquor. Something cheap.

The Cashier #2 gives him something in a small bottle.

SAM
No, no, no. Something bigger. A pint at least.

The Cashier #2 grabs a pint of vodka.

CASHIER #2
It doesn’t get cheaper than this.

SAM
That’ll work.

CASHIER #2
Three-fifty.

Sam gives him the cash and they complete their transaction. Sam stumbles out of the party store and the Cashier #2 watches him as he goes.

Cashier #2 shakes his head in disbelief. Another CUSTOMER is at the counter.

CASHIER #2
Some people don’t know when to say when.

CUT TO:

Pages fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one & sixty-two.

Sixty-two pages in and there’s no redeeming quality to my protagonist. Not good. That will be my number one fix during the re-write. I think for this film to work, the audience needs to feel sympathy for him. That’s what makes ninety percent of movies work. I’m not getting that yet. And yes, I pulled that stat right out of the air.

(pages 59-62)
INT. BAR – NIGHT

Sam is sitting at the bar barely able to keep himself upright. He’s
drunk. His cellphone starts ringing. He answers it.

SAM
Hello?

JIMMY (O.S.)
Look, Sam, Martin just got finished with Dino and he doesn’t think he stole your money.

SAM
Bullshit! That’s fucking bullshit and you know it!

JIMMY (O.S.)
I really don’t know what the fuck to tell you. I really don’t care where my money comes from, I just want my money. Now it’s on you.

SAM
Fuck you, Jimmy! I don’t know what kind of scam you’re pulling on me, but you’re not getting another fucking nickel from me.

There’s a several second pause. Jimmy has hung up.

SAM
Jimmy? Jimmy? God damn it!

Sam smashes his phone on the ground. It startles everyone in the bar.

JOEY
Whoa, whoa, Sam calm down.

SAM
I’m calm. I’m fine. Give me another drink.

JOEY
Sorry, Sam, it’s not going to happen. Let me call you a cab.

SAM
I don’t want a cab. I want another drink.

JOEY
Sam.

Joey stares at Sam for a couple of seconds until Sam gets the meaning.

SAM
Fine. Fuck it. I’ll go somewhere else.

Sam stumbles out the door.

INT. PERRY’S CAR – NIGHT

Perry is driving a nice black sedan. He’s driving in an upscale suburban area with large houses. He looks at the houses as he passes them. He glances on a piece of paper with an address on it.

Perry sees the house and pulls his car into the driveway.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOME – NIGHT

Perry exits the car and walks to the front door. He rings the doorbell.

A middle-aged attractive WOMAN, 47, opens the door. She’s holding a TODDLER, 2, in her arms.

WOMAN
Can I help you?

PERRY
Hello, I’m looking for Jerry. Is he home.

WOMAN
Yeah. Hey, Jerry!

JERRY (O.S.)
Yeah?

WOMAN
There’s someone here to see you.

PERRY
Is that your baby?

WOMAN
No. It’s my grand-daughter.

PERRY
Oh, really? You don’t look old enough to be a grandmother.

WOMAN
Thank you.

JERRY, 46, a very normal looking white man with glasses, walks into the foyer from the hallway.

JERRY
Can I help you?

PERRY
Jerry Miller?

JERRY
Yeah, that’s me.

PERRY
Do you mind if we talk outside in private?

Jerry looks at his wife and shrugs his shoulder.

JERRY
Sure.

Jerry exits the house and shuts the door behind him.

INT. SUBURBAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

Woman peeks behind a curtain to watch the conversation.

EXT. SUBURBAN HOME – CONTINUOUS

JERRY
What’s this about?

PERRY
You’re going to take a ride with me, Jerry.

JERRY
I’m sorry?

PERRY
There’s a young woman in the hospital that you’re going to apologize to.

JERRY
I’m sorry, but I think you’ve got the wrong guy.

PERRY
I never get the wrong man, but we can let the girl decide that. You just need to get in the car.

JERRY
Are you the police?

PERRY
No.

JERRY
Then I don’t have to go anywhere with you.

PERRY
Jerry, I think you’d be better off dealing with me than the police on this one. Don’t you think?

JERRY
I think you better get the fuck off of my property is what I think.

Perry punches Jerry right in the face and Jerry drops to the ground.

Perry punches him again and Jerry lays still on the ground.
Woman comes running out of the house with toddler in arms.

WOMAN
Hey! What are you doing!? Leave him alone!

PERRY
Ma’am, I think it’s best you stay in the house. Tell her, Jerry.

Perry flashes his gun to Jerry.

JERRY
Get in the house, Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH
What’s going on?

Jerry turns to look at her.

JERRY
Just get in the house. It’ll be okay.

Elizabeth backs into the house and shuts the door.

Perry grabs Jerry by the arm to lift him up.

PERRY
Let’s go.

CUT TO:

Page fifty-eight.

(page 58)
EXT. STORAGE UNIT – NIGHT

Martin exits the storage unit. He takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights himself a smoke. His knuckles are cut and bleeding. He then takes out his cell phone and makes a call.

JIMMY (O.S.)
Yeah?

MARTIN
I’ve got nothing, Jimmy. I’ve heard a million different stories, but he hasn’t told me what I want to hear.

JIMMY (O.S.)
What do you think?

MARTIN
I think he’s got one of the greatest imaginations I’ve ever seen, but I don’t think he stole that money from us. He says he found the suitcase in a trash can down by Hart Plaza empty. And I believe him.

JIMMY (O.S.)
All right, cut him loose. Tell him we’re sorry.

Martin hangs up.

Martin looks up. It’s a full moon.

Martin finishes his cigarette, throws it on the ground and stomps it out.

Martin enters the storage unit.

CUT TO:

Pages fifty-five, fifty-six and fifty-seven.

I can’t get used to writing at home. I can’t find a routine. I used to like doing everything at night because it was quieter with fewer distractions, but I don’t think my mind is as sharp then and I think my writing is suffering because of it.

I recently met up with one of my friends that is following the script and he gave me some more great feedback. He says that Sam is getting lost and the characters are too stereotyped. I agree with him. It’s something I’ve thought about as I was writing and it’s something I’m going to tackle in the rewrites. One thing I’m concerned about with this type of film is that the characters can quickly become caricatures. There’s a fine line I have to walk. Right now, I’m just drawing the outline. Later, I’ll start filling in the details.

(pages 55, 56 & 57)
INT. PERRY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Perry is sitting in a chair listening to Greek music. He pulls out a
tray of weed from under his chair. He rolls a joint and starts smoking it.

Perry takes a look at his watch. He pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.

Sophia answers the phone.

SOPHIA (O.S.)
Hello?

PERRY
Sophia, baby, where are you?

SOPHIA (O.S.)
I’m sorry, Perry, I forgot to call you. I can’t make it tonight. I may not be able to see you in a while.

PERRY
Why not?

CUT TO:

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Perry enters a wing of the hospital. He enters a room.

Sophia is in a bed. Her face is barely recognizable. It’s swollen, black and blue with both eyes blackened. She sees Perry and covers her face.

SOPHIA
Perry, I told you I didn’t want you to see me like this.

Perry walks to her bedside. He grabs her hands and pulls them away. She looks aways.

PERRY
Hey, hey, hey…

Perry tilts her head back towards him.

PERRY
You’ll always be beautiful to me. You never have to worry about what you look like on the outside to me.

Sophia starts crying.

Perry leans over and kisses her cheek.

PERRY
Who did this to you?

SOPHIA
I don’t know. I mean, I have a first name, but the number was blocked. And I’m sure it wasn’t his real name.

PERRY
Where did you meet?

SOPHIA
At my place.

PERRY
Where’s your phone?

SOPHIA
It’s right behind you.

Perry turns around and finds it. He picks it up and scrolls through the calls.

PERRY
Is this the call, at eight-thirty?

SOPHIA
Yeah.

Perry makes a phone call.

NICK answers.

PERRY
Hey, Nick, it’s Perry.

NICK
Hey, Perry.

PERRY
I need a favor. The number I’m calling you with had a blocked number call them at eight-thirty this afternoon. Can you find out what number that was?

NICK
I’ll try. Hold on a sec.

PERRY
(to Sophia)
This is what I do. I find people who don’t want to be found.

SOPHIA
Like a bounty hunter?

PERRY
Kinda. But I don’t report them to the cops.

NICK
Hey, Perry.

PERRY
Yeah, Nick?

NICK
Got a pen?

Page fifty-four.

(page 54)
INT. CAR – EVENING

Sam is driving. He drives up to a bar and slows down. He stops the car and looks at the bar. He then drives away.

Several seconds pass and he makes a sudden u-turn cutting off someone.

He pulls up to the front of the bar and exits his car.

INT. BAR – CONTINUOUS

Sam enters the and walks to the counter.

Joey is tending bar.

JOEY
Hey, Sam!

SAM
Joey, give me a scotch with a water back.

JOEY
I thought you quit.

SAM
A bartender should never ask his customers if they’ve quit drinking.

JOEY
Yes, sir.

Joey pours Sam a scotch and a glass of water and gives it to him.
Sam drinks his scotch in one gulp.

SAM
Another.

CUT TO: